I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
