So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I met the friendliest cop last night
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
