I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
dude i'm inner monologue high
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize