if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
