We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I have feelings that need drinking.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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