our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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