i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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