My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
