I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
