tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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