Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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