guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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