So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
