Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
