she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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