Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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