soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
