What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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