Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
