Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize