If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My bed smells like the plague
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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