apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize