You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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