New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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