i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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