im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
