my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
