Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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