we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
