Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
