we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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