Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize