i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
