the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
