that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just cropdusted the office
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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