did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
