They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
