wat bout pragnant strippers??
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
