If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
