I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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