I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
