so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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