accomplished twins. life is a go
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
