i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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