How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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