barbara walters just said penis...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
