My hand turned me down
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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