i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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