butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
