Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
