How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
