why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
