how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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