I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
