grandma shit on top of the toilet
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
