What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize