i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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