gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
