Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
