Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
