I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
