i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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