she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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