You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
