Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
