he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
