I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
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You. Win. At. Life.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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