shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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