I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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