First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
