Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
So many bounce houses so little time
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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