I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
