FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
