i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
