I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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