You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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