put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Blow job season was short but glorious.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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